Dirty Sock From Tom Robbins Novel Reunited With Better Half

(MP) - Dirty Sock, infamous for its supporting role in the 1990 Tom Robbins novel, Skinny Legs And All, has finally been reunited with it’s long lost partner, Other Dirty Sock.

The twenty-year search was not without adventure or companionship.  Dirty Sock spent the better part of the 1990’s with Random Baby Shoe, and most of the early 2000’s with Suspect Man Sandal.

“The years with Random Baby Shoe were the most satisfying for me. They began when a homeless woman peeled me off the sidewalk outside of Scores, in Manhattan.  She threw me in her shopping cart with her bottles and cans, and sang Cat Stevens songs while crossing the Queensboro Bridge.  I fell out of the wagon when she hit a bump outside Silver Cup Studios, and ended up beside Random Baby Shoe on an abandoned lot.  For a time, I had a purpose.  It wasn’t until the super-sexy condos started arriving in the late 1990’s that I ended up in a dumpster during the groundbreaking process,” explained Dirty Sock. 

When questioned about the days with Suspect Man Sandal, (otherwise known as the inside-out years) Sock said: “They were too long and sordid to get into right now…just know that I was embarrassed.”

Sock told us that the best way to survive out there is to roll with it and pray…even when times get tough.  

“It was lonely out there.  Laying on sidewalks, or near campfires next to pornographic magazines on your back, and not remembering how you got there is pretty scary; especially when you find yourself in a neighborhood filled with ADHD children.  They can be the worst…they will run up to you and just jump up in there and stomp on you for no other reason than to show off to their friends. 

"The chain of events that would lead to the Hollywood ending began when singer songwriter, and environmental activist, Paula Vendaben entered her building on Suffolk Street in Manhattan, last Thursday.  After a meal at Angelica’s Kitchen with boyfriend and abstract painter, Serge Lubavitch, Paula discovered, Dirty Sock in her vestibule and angrily threw it into the trash.

 From a trash bag… to a garbage truck... to a dog’s mouth, and then into a car headed for a weekend at the Jersey Shore, Sock went on a wild ride that would bring it to the serendipitous moment it had been waiting for: the reunion with Other Dirty Sock.

As the Debenedetto’s and their family dog Rocky arrived at the Sea Bright Beach, the discovery of Sock was made.  Mrs. Debenedetto, or Nicole, as her husband Anthony knows her, was rousing from a nap when she turned to Rocky who so proudly dangled Sock from his jowls.  Disgusted, Nicole ripped Sock from Rocky’s mouth and tossed it out the window.  Guided by Nicole’s inspiring vocals, “oh my god …eeeewww…  grooossss,” the glare off Anthony’s sunglasses, and a strong gust of Jersey wind, Sock took flight boardwalk bound.  With the sun at its back and the salty air surrounding it, Sock began a descent like no other. As far as Sock was concerned this landing was for good.  Hovering over Other Dirty Sock, the wind halted at just the right time, and like a feather, Sock floated to the boardwalk to its final resting place… beside, Other Dirty Sock.

With too many parties to thank for the happy ending, Dirty Sock decided to allow nature to take its course, and smile contentedly next to Other Dirty Sock in silence for the rest of its days.