First Michael Vick, Now...Dead Mr. Ed
Posted on Thursday, April 16, 2009
If you're a famous NFL quarterback that happens to fight dogs to their death for a little extra cash so that you may indulge in the finer things in life like bottles of Cristal, expensive jewelry, mansions, and sports cars, you’re name might be, Michael Vick- And you will be getting out of prison soon. Fortunately for the celebrity- swallowing American public, you will definitely be starring in a reality TV series about your new found freedom in a post canine-murdering-world.
Mr. Vick has been lucky enough to be rewarded for his actions of dutiful citizenry by receiving a $600,000 payday from an undisclosed network. The NFL superstar turned torturer, turned broke-individual, will be gracing the small screen on his journey toward redemption. The show is scheduled to begin filming upon his release from prison on July 20th.
Due to Vick’s success in the reality TV market, there are plenty of other undeserving beings out there vying for the attention of Network Executives. But the one we’re rooting for is: the dead body of Mr. Ed. Yes, that’s correct. Mr. Ed the beloved television horse who wooed audiences in the 50’s TV sitcom that bore his name is back, but in spirit alone…so far.
The Estate of Mr. Ed would like to exhume the body of the horse for a new reality series entitled ‘Dead Mr. Ed’. The program would consist of Mr. Ed’s whisperer moving his bones and decaying flesh to various rodeos throughout the Southwest in an effort to further monetize the fame of the fallen beast.
“We feel that it will be an important part of TV’s weekly line-up,” said Sandy Bantracter, CEO of Bantracter Management of West Hollywood CA, and Executor of the Estate of Mr. Ed. “There is no better way to teach today’s children how much joy dead animals can bring us without bringing America’s most famous dead 
animal to them.”
Mr. Bantracter is hoping that ‘Dead Mr. Ed’ will be a win fall for his company, Cash For Your Dead, LLC, and hopefully put him in the
Reality TV Hall of Fame. With his firm belief in the revival of deceased creature stars, Mr. Bantracter has been seizing the rights to many dead animals, and even dead humans of Hollywood’s past. He is currently in discussions with the Estates of Rin Tin Tin, Benji, and Don Knotts.
“I’m going through the proper channels. I’m not going out and robbing graves. I’m requesting permission from all living relatives,” stated Bantracter. “ It has been quite easy to convince them considering that most of their living kin are suffering from drug addictions, and crippling sense of self-loathing due to their shortcomings that they are practically giving away their dead relatives. “
Mr. Bantracter is currently courting many heavy hitters at hotel bars all over town. He hopes that Cash For Your Dead, LLC will be a business he can pass on to his children. This Delaware incorporated business may be the first of its kind, but we doubt it will be the last.
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51 Comment(s)
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June 22, 2009 @ 6:15 PM"fuck you micheal vick im a 12 year old boy and if that was my dog i would sue you to the fullest extent of the law"
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June 22, 2009 @ 6:16 PM"im going tio fat on you dumbass"
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