Lady Liberty To World – “Get in My Mind, Not Just in My Body”

Posted on Friday, May 8, 2009

(MP) - In the age-old battle of the sexes, one of the biggest (if not THE biggest), complaints that women have about men is that they are only after one thing: their bodies. Some women like Susan B. Anthony and Gloria Steinem, have fought throughout history for suffrage, equality in the workplace, and the continuing struggle to be looked upon as intellectual equals, and not just sex objects to exploit. Other women, like Jenna Jameson, have used their bodies as tools to rise to the height of the business world, and once there, have changed gears and become formidable CEO’s and intellectual juggernauts in their own right. This past week the oldest woman alive spoke out for the respect that has eluded her for the past eight years. That woman is New York’s very own Statue of Liberty.

“When I saw Jenna Jameson on William Shatner’s talk show ‘Raw Nerve,’ explains Lady Liberty, “and she talked about her shocking decision to retire from porn, but continue to run her enterprise that is the strongest in her business, I became inspired. I related to her. People have been crawling in and out of my body for years, just like her, and I’m tired of it. It’s time they saw what my mind has to offer as well.”

The Statue of Liberty has welcomed visitors, immigrants, and returning Americans inside her ever since 1886, when France gifted the giant lady to the United States. The crown, however, has been closed to tourists ever since the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. But it seems that Lady Liberty’s pronouncement of no longer being seen just as a “body” has not fallen on deaf ears. The crown of the Statue of Liberty will re-open to tourists this July 4.

"We are once again inviting the public to celebrate our great nation,” explained Jacqueline Cufflinks, spokeswoman for the iron icon, “and the hope and opportunity it symbolizes by not just entering our Lady’s legs, and exploring her cavity like a mindless piece of ass, but also climbing to Lady Liberty's crown for a unique view of New York Harbor, and to see that she is just as smart, driven, and wise than any other male statue in the world.”

Reactions from women all around the country have been supportive and inspired.

“I thinks it’s great, you know,” opines Jeneane Menthol, mother of two, who has used her body in the past to get ahead, “I have a man now, so I don’t runs around no more, but who doesn’t want to be seens as smart? I’ll take my daughters there. I just wish we could enter her mouth first, you know? Then we can leave out of her body the way it’s dones in nature – out her hoo-ha.”

Access to the crown will be limited to 10 people at a time, but Lady Liberty sees that as a good thing.

“It will allow me to really talk to people, in the intimate setting that is my head, so I can have people focus on what I have to offer intellectually. But don’t get me wrong; I am a woman of the 21st century still. I can be everything I want to be. I still have needs and desires, so I won’t be closing my legs any time soon. You just have to also want to get into my head in order to have the whole experience that I have to offer. Just like my new heroine - Jenna Jameson.”

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