TARP Fever Workshop

MP- There isn’t a family in America who hasn’t been hit by these tough economic times.  While most businesses are suffering, one New jersey psychologist has found a way to capitalize on a new disease he is calling TARP (troubled assets relief program) Fever.

World Renowned marriage counselor, and founder of TARP Fever Workshop, Dr. Jesse Jamison, feels optimistic his client base will be happy and healthy during this financial crisis with the help of his trademarked two step program.  “People need to allow themselves not to feel guilty.  If they have the money to shop at Bergdorff’s, or lunch at Nobu, or buy that Kate Spade bag they should do it-and do it as quickly as possible. “ 

We sat in on one of the workshops, and were able to speak with Francine Magdalano,  wife of Barry Magdalano, local entrepreneur and orthodontist, and proud mother of one Jo Jo Magdalano, a boy, age 16. “Listen I know lot’s of people have lost their jobs, but I don’t know any of them.  Kids keep coming in to get their buck teeth fixed all the time. I do feel sorry for the out of jobbers, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop wearing all my good stuff and living the good life.  Why should I? Like Dr. Jamison say’s step 1: get over it, step 2: buy something.”  Francine seems to have a good handle on things, and we wish her the best of luck in her pursuit of making herself happy.

Jamison went on to mention that he’s been able to fill endless prescriptions for Zoloft, Valium, and Wellbutrin, which will assure him a steady client base for the next six months to a year.  “People like drugs…what do you want me to tell you? “  Jamison explained.  Jamison’s philosophy is a simple one: “buy now, and worry how much it’s really worth later.”  Jamison holds a self generated digital diploma from Hofstra, created by his childhood friend, Paul Stentler. His PHD was a mail order from The Universidad de la Habana, Cuba.

The TARP Fever Workshop meets on Tuesday nights at 7:00 pm, at The Red Bank YMCA and on Wednesday nights at 7:30 pm, at The Jewish Community Center in Deal.  The Coffee and Bagel happy half-hour prior to the workshop is sponsored by Pfizer’s new energy drink, Vibrancy.  In order to participate in the drinking of Vibrancy you must first receive a prescription from a licensed physician.

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