World Famous Lizardman Battles Geckoman
Posted on Wednesday, December 3, 2008
After more than a decade of separation, former college roommates and
best friends Erik Sprague and Jordan Gecko have decided to meet up
again. Apparently this will not be a friendly reunion. According to Mr.
Peters, the time apart was due to an old grudge which he now wants to
settle once and for all.
The two attended Hartwick College in
Oneonta, NY. Both studied philosophy and both became interested in
challenging the ideas of what it is to be human. They both underwent
major transformations.
Mr. Sprague spent several years
transforming his body though tatooing, piercing, and other body
modifications such as Teflon horn implants and a bifurcated tongue
(split tongue). He is now referred to as The Lizardman and makes his
living as a performance artist.
Mr. Gecko, on the other hand,
tried to turn himself into a chicken. Realizing that stuffing eggs into
his rectum was not the best of ideas he then tried to become an
armadillo, a rabbit, a giraffe, an electric eel, and a pony. All
attempts failed miserably and then one night, after some heavy
drinking, he accidently hypnotized himself into believing he was an
actual gecko. The spell was permanent. Years of psychotherapy have been
spent to reverse the effects of the drunken night, but have only been
mildly successful. Mr. Gecko now calls himself The Geckoman and makes
his living selling bonds on wall street.
The grudge the two have
was apparently over a coffee mug. Geckoman claims that Lizardman stole
his favorite unicorn painted coffee mug. Lizardman has said that this
is a lie and added that his penis is bigger than Geckoman's penis.
Manic World of Sports covers the long awaited stand-off. The winner
leaves with the extremely gay unicorn coffee mug and bragging rights to
having the biggest dick.
Posted in Sports | Make a Comment (36)
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