Teddy Rooney

Teddy Rooney

About Me

All my life I wanted to live like they did in the glory days of old Hollywood. Fast talking, big parties, big martini glasses. I wanted to be Errol Flynn. But, tragically, this is the 21st century, and I ended up teaching retards to finger paint. What are you gonna do, right? Well, I lived the life on that salary down in Atlantic City, and bap-a-ba...here I am at Katherine Hepburn's Rehab Center. I'm trying, but there is one thing that I will always take with me when dealing with people on my endless benders: "Never trust anybody who doesn't drink."

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Age: 32

Birthplace: Red Bank, NJ

Education: Read the book

Interests/Hobbies: Drinking, Whoring, Gay Whoring, doing impressions, gambling, eating, fighting, fencing, swinging from ropes.

Movies/Books: Thief, The Quiet Man, Vincent and Theo, Lawrence of Arabia, Bill. Finnegan's Wake, Ulysses, Waiting for Godot. (Those last three are bullshit - I thought I'd throw those names around to impress ya. Step 1 in Katherine's Rehab: When you stop lying to others, only then will you stop lying to yourself.)

The Vault

Extras, Deleted Scenes, Gag Reels and Much More in the Vault

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