About Me

All my life I wanted to live like they did in the glory days of old Hollywood. Fast talking, big parties, big martini glasses. I wanted to be Errol Flynn. But, tragically, this is the 21st century, and I ended up teaching retards to finger paint. What are you gonna do, right? Well, I lived the life on that salary down in Atlantic City, and bap-a-ba...here I am at Katherine Hepburn's Rehab Center. I'm trying, but there is one thing that I will always take with me when dealing with people on my endless benders: "Never trust anybody who doesn't drink."

32

Red Bank, NJ

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Drinking, Whoring, Gay Whoring, doing impressions, gambling, eating, fighting, fencing, swinging from ropes.

Thief, The Quiet Man, Vincent and Theo, Lawrence of Arabia, Bill. Finnegan's Wake, Ulysses, Waiting for Godot. (Those last three are bullshit - I thought I'd throw those names around to impress ya. Step 1 in Katherine's Rehab: When you stop lying to others, only then will you stop lying to yourself.)